24th June 2020
Here is a beautiful poem written by a 13 year old child called Phoebe; she wrote this before her admission to an eating disorder inpatient unit. They contacted us and with consent from Phoebe and her mum, we wanted to share this to show insight into her illness and how hard she is working towards her recovery.
Many of us will be able to relate to Phoebe's incredibly powerful words and many of us will be inspired by her raw honesty and emotion portrayed throughout. Phoebe - thank you.
The Voices - poem
The voice in my head makes me feel like such a failure
But every day when I wake up, I can’t help but just obey her
I can’t help but just listen when it tells me things that seem so wrong,
But it tells me, yes it tells me,
That if I obey I’ll be so strong.
Nothing really matters but the pride and the glory,
Yet this voice inside my head won’t let me live to tell the story.
It puts me down each second of each day,
It shouts at me - oh the things it says.
I obey this loud voice till I can obey no more,
I pace up and down till I’m tired and sore.
I reach my goal weight, but it’s still not enough.
Each day it gets worse, and each minute is tough.
I wake up one day to find mum looking sad,
I ask her what’s wrong ‘cuz it looks pretty bad.
She looks at me sat there, then looks at the phone.
She says “Phoebe, my darling, you can’t do this on your own.”
I ask her what she means,
Because to me I feel fine.
She says “Phoebe - you’re ill;
We can’t waste any more time.”
Sooner than ever I was sat there alone,
My mum next door, talking on the phone.
I knew who she was taking to,
I knew it ‘wasn’t fair’.
But it’s got to be done, else my body will tear.
In what seems like a day, I’m packing my bag,
But hospital surely couldn’t be that bad?
Again, I was wrong, and at such a young age,
I was away from my home, yet anorexia was not fazed.
He did not care that I felt so distressed,
That I just felt so worthless, and my mind was a mess.
He did not care that I was there to get better -
But the nurses did, so I wrote them a letter -
‘I feel so down, and sad all the time.
To help you understand, I wrote you this rhyme.
It goes a bit like this:
The voices in my head make me feel like such a failure...’